In case you were wondering how we got here…
The Intel community has your back…NOT!
White House Operator: White House how can I direct your call?
Caller: This is John Brennan with the CIA. I must speak to the President. It is urgent.
Operator: Let me put you through to the person who is running the country at this time.
VJ: Hello. Valerie Jarrett. Who is this?
JB: John Brennan here. I need to speak with the President immediately.
VJ: And you are?
JB: I am the head of the CIA, the Central Intelligence Agency.
VJ: Thank you for clarifying that because the President is easily confused by acronyms.
JB: With what?
VJ: Never mind. In any case President Obama is playing video games right now and he is locked in battle with an 8 year old from Nebraska in a game of Assassin’s Creed. Also this is not one of the days that he remembers he is actually the President.
JB: And you are?
VJ: The first woman President. Now please tell me what you need help with.
JB: I have some very troubling information confirming that Trump is working directly with Vladimir Putin to influence our election. For some inexplicable reason Putin actually wants Hilliary to win.
VJ: May I assume you are unaware of President Obama’s order to stand down on the Russian collusion stuff. We have everything well in hand at DOJ and the FBI. There is dossier that just surfaced that has all kinds of dirt on Trump and we got it indirectly from a Russian source. So ix-nay on the Russian conspiracy theories.
JB: I know all about that dossier. It has all the earmarks of a Le Carre novel but we have some great material that could do Trump in. We also have an agent trying to interest Trump in a game of Russian Roulette. Trump believes that it is Putin’s favorite game although admittedly Putin is usually a spectator and not a player.
VJ: You are joking right. Are you sure this is the real John Brennan?
JB: Why do you ask?
VJ: Because I am having trouble believing you are associated with any enterprise that has the word intelligence in its name.
And Trump has a keen eye for foreign policy expertise…
George Papadopoulos: Papadopoulos here who is calling.
Unsub: I am trying to help the Trump campaign and we need your assistance.
GP: Cool. What do you need me to do?
Unsub: Do you like scavenger hunts?
GP: I have always wanted to play that game. Tell me more.
Unsub: The first thing you need to find is a Maltese professor who has some dirt on Hilliary Clinton. Call me when you finish this step.
Two weeks later
GP: Mr. Strzok this is George Papadopoulos and I am calling tell you that I found a Maltese professor who gave me a thumb drive with the Clinton material on it. As you instructed I have not accessed the data on the drive.
Strzok: You did very well but how did you know it was me?
GP: Lisa Page told me last night.
Strzok: We didn’t even know the professor existed. Now for your next challenge. We want you to fly to London and find a man in a bar who has given more that $25 million to the Clinton foundation and offer him the dirt on Clinton.
GP: Do you have anything more specific to help me identify this individual?
Strzok: That is all we the information you have. Good luck.
GP: Sounds a bit like looking for a specific grain of sand on a huge beach.
Strzok: So you are giving up already?
GP: No chance because I love a real challenge.
Three months later…
NYT headline: Former Trump campaign adviser told Australian diplomat Russia had dirt on Clinton. The Australian turns out to have given millions to the Clinton Foundation.
Strzok to Lisa Page: Talk about blind luck. Now leak this to the media.
If this guy is a US spy we have already lost.
Carter Page was the target of a FISA warrant. This alone should disqualify all of the sitiing FISA judges. Check out any interview of Page and it will become clear that anyone who suggested that Page was the link between the Trump campaign and the Russian government has no credibility. They plan to cast Rowan Atkinson to play Page in the movie that will be made after Trump leaves office in 2025.
Sanctimony is it’s own reward
Today it was announced that Pope Francis resigned in the face of a growing scandal involving gay priests molesting young men. The group formerly known as the Boy Scouts of America said it would accept applications from the disgraced priests to become troop leaders. James Comey announced that he had been elected to be the new Pope despite rumors that Putin had interfered with the balloting by the College of Cardinals. Comey himself investigated these allegations, confirming the interference, but announced that no self-respecting Catholic would be want to take any action in response. He took the name Pope Vainglory I.
Mining anti-Trump Ohr
Run this fact through your mind…Bruce Ohr went to Harvard. This should confirm the validity of the argument that Harvard Law School should be ranked right near IIT among accredited law schools. He has done to the reputation of Harvard what Eric Swalwell has done to the reputation of Maryland Law School. Somehow Ohr forgot to tell anyone at the DOJ that his wife was following in the footsteps of JK Rowling as a writer of phantasmagorical fiction. Her first published work was the Trump dossier. Ohr moved seamlessly from the Organized Crime Drug Enforcement Task Force to managing the Organized Trump Impeachment Task Force. He became the conduit for the distribution of the dossier from the late (and unlamented) Senator John McCain and Fusion GPS (his lovely bride’s employer) to the FBI and the DOJ. He worked to protect Christopher Steel from scrutiny and somehow managed to overlook the fact that the bulk of the material in the dossier originated in Russia. An American hero!
We just finished a weekend of “Remembering John McCain”. Now let’s dedicate a full month to forgetting the aforementioned McCain. Long overdue!