Star Wars Cantina Scene…Part Deux

Watching the cantina scene from Star Wars will be good mental preparation for the pending DNC presidential debates. It will also help you deal with the visuals. We may see an epidemic of coulrophobia. It will definitely have the Founders of the United States spinning in their graves.

Let’s set the table and give a little perspective to the proceedings.

In 2016 the Democrats ran a candidate who is barely qualified to be the
mayor of Chicago. Hilliary Clinton is to corruption what Typhoid Mary is to,
well, typhoid. She lost to a political neophyte who has questionable people
skills. But she did, the Dems say, win the popular vote. So the media Greek
chorus demands the end of the Electoral College (which according to AOC should be tuition free) which would mean that going forward the President will be elected by the economic and social dumpster fire that is California together with the rapidly depopulating state of New York which is being mismanaged by Governor Cuomo and Mayor DeBlasio.

So let us handicap the mob of misfits who are seeking the Democrat
nomination. But first we must address the outbreak of ignorance that seems to have afflicted all of the potential candidates.  It should be disturbing to everyone that we might elect someone as President who is without intellectual curiosity and utterly incapable of assimilating new data that may conflict with their preconceived worldview that has been unconditionally accepted. We might as well install a block of granite in the Oval Office.

Kamala Harris, aka “The Camel”: It is difficult to take this woman
seriously. Her giveaway moment was the Senate hearing at which she was questioning an ICE nominee during which she endlessly repeated “Are you aware of the perception…” that there are parallels between ICE and the KKK?. After repeating the question several times the nominee tried to answer the silly question and she interrupted to instruct him: “Don’t interrupt me”.  When he finally responded to her hectoring someone pulled the ring on the back of her neck and she once again asked the exact same question. It would have been wonderful if the nominee had simply asked her:  “Are you aware of the perception that you are an idiot?” Harris as President would be the textbook application of the Peter Principle.

Elizabeth Warren, aka “Fauxchahontas”: The word “brilliant” has
never been so misapplied then when it is used to describe Warren. She is
1/1024th percent qualified to be President.

Cory Booker: His resume includes his being Mayor of Newark. Aren’t cited
qualifications supposed to be positive? If you can’t run Newark it is a stretch to think you can run the United States.

Jay Inslee, Governor of Washington: This man is plainly delusional. He is
basing his entire campaign on anthropogenic global climate change. We should not be surprised if he names the Heat Miser as his running mate. A friend who lives in Washington wants him to run so they can get rid of him. It is manifestly clear that Inslee has never studied the global climate and refuses to accept any position that conflicts with his delusion.

Robert O’Rourke (he answers to both Bozo and Beto): Many felt that AOC had clinched the gold medal in the Ignorance Olympics but O’Rourke overtook her with one preposterous utterance.  The man with the spastic hands actually said: “There is a unanimous consensus among scientists” that we have only 12 years left before global climate ends the world.  The statement alone carries a very high ignorance quotient but the degree of difficulty increased when he went redundant with “unanimous” and “consensus”.  It would appear that eating dirt from New Mexico may have a deleterious effect on mental acuity. 

Kirsten Gillibrand:  The heartthrob of all vertiginous American voters.  In fact she is their mascot.  That she believes she is qualified to be President is an exercise in self-delusion.  But it is more fun to track the digression of her political philosophy, rather like tracking the hegira of Jack Nicholson in The Shining from sanity to mainstream Democrat.  She is in this merely to round out the field.

Bernie Sanders, aka Santa Claus:  He was robbed by the Clinton Machine in 2106 and now the Energizer Bunny of Democrat politics renews his impersonation of Don Quixote.  Originally he was the lead lemming in the race to the political left and now he is just another socialist in the team picture.  If he wasn’t certifiable you might almost feel sorry for him.

Amy Klobuchar aka Senator Ratched: Unless there is bizarre attraction to someone unknown outside the Land of 10,000 Lakes this candidate will return quietly to her prior well-deserved obscurity.

Julian Castro (no relation of Fidel and Raul by blood at least):  As far as we can tell his main campaign plank is statehood for Nicaragua, El Salvador and Honduras.  He also supports the erasure of national boundaries.  One wonders if he will recruit MS-13 members to act as poll watchers.

Tulsi Gabbard: May be running simply to oppose the elimination of airplanes and ships that use fossil fuels so Hawaii will still have some level of tourism.  She is vigorously opposed by owners and paddlers of outrigger canoes who will provide all transportation to and from the islands when the green new deal takes effect.  The most moderate candidate to date but that guarantees a short runway.

Pete Buttigieg, aka Mayor Pete:  It is impossible to endure a campaign spiel about Mayor Pete without being reminded that he is gay.  This smacks of GLBTQ extortion.  Fail to support Hilliary and you are a misogynist.  Criticize Obama and and you are a racist.  Fail to vote for Mayor Pete and you are homophobic.    His credentials are as follows: Harvard University, he is gay, Rhodes scholar, he is gay, Mayor of South Bend and, if you haven’t heard, he is gay.  The academic credentials are listed to create the illusion that he is really, really smart.  And yet he slavishly embraces every left wing bromide including the Green New Deal.  No suggestion of independent thought.  Oh, by the way, his parents are Marxists and it would appear the apple did not fall far from the tree.  What is the half-life of a Marxist in America?

Joe Biden, aka Uncle Joe, not to be confused with FDR’s “Uncle Joe”, Joseph Stalin:  Biden is the definition of a fruitless life.  A life spent at the government trough without a distinguishing accomplishment.  He is the prince of the shallow gesture such as identifying Stacey Abrams as his first choice for running mate.  And now in the twilight of his career he has been identified as a serial head kisser and neck snuggler.  His only hope is to tell the world that he was standing behind Brett Kavanaugh in a gang bang line at a party in Maryland.  Exit stage left…where else!

A sad lot and it is anyone’s guess who will be the best in show.  However the process will the best reality TV we may ever see.  Have the score to Star Wars on standby.  Let the pandering begin!

This just in.  AOC’s 23andme results have been leaked.  She is 37% parrot.


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